I hate to burst your bubble but picking up women won’t make you happy. It took me a long time to figure this out. When I was first introduced to the pickup artist community, I thought I was saved. I believed all these books and guides would land me the woman of my dreams. And that woman would make me forget the heartbreak I endured with my ex-girlfriend. She was supposed to be the source of my happiness.
This philosophy consumed my life. I read every PUA book, guide, and forum I could find to make myself attractive to the opposite sex. I transformed into a completely different person so I could meet women. I would do things like neg people even though it wasn’t in my personality. I used to be a respectful guy but there I was trying to insult women because a book said it would make me a desirable man.
It got to the point where my friends and family noticed I wasn’t the same person. One day my mom told me I had changed. She said something happened to me and I could see the tears in her eyes. That’s when it hit me. She was right. I had become someone I didn’t recognize for the sole purpose of picking up women.
I turned to books again to help me with my dilemma. I dropped all the pickup artist books and picked up books on male psychology. Three books in particular helped me; Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man, Iron John: A Book About Men, and The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire. These books changed my perspective on dating. I learned meeting women was the result of self-improvement, not the other way around. A quote from one of these books stuck with me.
Every man should ask himself two questions; where am I going and who’s coming with me? And always in that order.
A woman isn’t going to solve all your problems. All your insecurities and flaws can’t be covered up with PUA openers and routines. Work on yourself; work on where you’re going in life then figure out who’s coming with you. My journey is still a work in progress but I’m happier now more than I have ever been in my life.